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STARS-SWITCHFOOT
Maybe I've been the problem 
Maybe I'm the one to blame 
But even when I turn it off and blame myself 
The outcome feels the same 

I've been thinkin' maybe I've been partly cloudy 
Maybe I'm the chance of rain 
And maybe I'm overcast and maybe 
All my luck's washed down the drain 

I've been thinkin' 'bout everyone, everyone you look so lonely 
But when I look at the stars, 
When I look at the stars, 
When I look at the stars 
I see someone else 
When I look at the stars, the stars 
I feel like myself 

Stars looking at our planet, 
Watching entropy and pain 
And maybe startin' to wonder 
How the chaos in our lives could pass as sane 

I've been thinkin' 'bout the meaning of resistance 
Of a hope beyond our own 
And suddenly the infinite and penitent 
Began to look like home 

I've been thinkin' 'bout everyone, everyone you look so empty 
But when I look at the stars, 
When I look at the stars, 
When I look at the stars 
I see someone else 
When I look at the stars, the stars 
I feel like myself 

Everyone, everyone you feel so lonely 
Everyone, ya everyone you feel so empty 
When I look at the stars, 
When I look at the stars, 
When I look at the stars 
I feel like myself 
When I look at the stars, the stars 
I see someone

----------------------------------------------------------------------
today is band day. from 3.30 right up to 5.30. didnt go jogging with my dad this morning.

was tooo tired.

guess what!!

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!

i wanna get a NEW christmas blogskin.

den it would look so chrismassy.

KISS-MAS! that's whad i saw on the reindeer fr precious moments.

went for a 15min shopping 'spree' with rachel after church yesterday.

got the same set of stuffs for zara and isabella TOCK ting ting.

yepp.

den went to bras basah cos my mum wanted to buy laminator fr popular.



popo's got a NEW phone. the newest samsung phone as wad my aunt says. 

the one that's the flip phone but no cam.

lol. haven decided on wad phone to get yet. but oh wells, my plan ends on the 22nd of nov!

count down.... 8 more days! :)

okie. hav to get readdy for band alreadys.









-prayer works-

I'm free!!

yahh man...

Only god can do it.

these few days been feeling really stressed over the things that i'm not supposed to be stressed out about. yeps it's confusing but true...

i dont usually have these kind of mood swings.

it's the first time in my life that i realised; joanna, you have a mood swing.

like WOW!!@@

a mood swing to knock some sense into me that i needed to get out of it.

i cant be that way forever! i'll just die! that is not me.

totally out of sorts. distracted.

i cant be that quiet. i'm not supposed to be like that.

really really need to thank jesus for answering my prayers. i prayed so hard.

THANK YOU LORD!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR DIVIEE!!




pooh...









i really can't handle it....

i love the LIPSTICKS!

yesyes.

i love grace.
i love naina.
i love divya.
i love eleanor.
i love cordelia.

haha. it was realle funny yesterday.
supposed to meet divya at 7.20 at the bustop.
den we purposely told cordelia to come at 7pm cos we thot she would be late.

and GUESS WHAT!
she was like super early. somethink like 6.45pm.
she called me when i just left my hse n told me she was already there.

shocked.
first time. haha.

met them n i was shocked. the second time.

hey cordelia, u cut ur hair like weixin liddat!!

but it's realle nice n cool. yep. okay. this pic is taken by eleanor's cam n from eleanor's blog. yup.

cordelia's hair is really nice rite. haha. and she made a big fuss over it.

yea. not to forget. dear grace, we both went mad when walking back to naina's house after 'fetching' eleanor. we were singing. or rather screaming/carolling 'joy to the world' and 'hallejuah'.

and the others kept asking us to shush.

so funny. and i kept singing the wrong thing???

n we were laughing like mad dogs. until when one dog fr one house kept barking.

aiyo.. see la, grace. the dog angry already...

*tsk tsk*

den once, while we were walking along the road. there was this man on a motorbike, he zoomed past us screaming?? haha. it was damn funny.

i ate snacks n i drank lots of water. yeah. my nose was like running. and my throat was damn pain n i wanted to sneeze.

den we took LOTS of pictures. stupid ones. and seriously this is one in a million of the times i enjoy photos. yeah man.

the best thing was like they were playing indian songs n naina's bro's favourite COLDPLAY cd.

some of the indian songs r quite nice. gosh. n divya was dancing w the music????

aaahh. and funny eleanor was like:"stop it divya, i cant stand it!"

haha. that was so funny.

den grace n naina became MADD!!

haha. they started dancing like they were drunk!

n cordelia went to take 7clips using her phone.

super funny. we took silly photos. did silly stuffs.

we acted worst den kids.

ate nicenice roti prata kind of bread. i think it's called naans. or something.

yupp. and the butter chicken was nice. grace n i took second helping.

we played with fire crackers. dere was this one that made a loud sound and everytime we heard that sound. we would like scream!

like so childish. or rather; childlike??

cordelia was taking photos of the nice 'squirting' out sparks and naina was made to hold it.

and she was so scared she looked realle funny.

well, naina's always so funny.

haha. YEAH MAN.

i cant wait for divya to send me the pics she took.









soooooo excited!!

handing in my option form today.

1st choice- phy chem, pure econs, geog elec. (M)
2nd choice- phy chem, pure goeg, hist elec. (G)
3rd choice- bio chem, pure econs, hist elec. (L)

sigh. i will miss all my friends.

naina, cordelia, eleanor, divya, grace.







WE HAVE A DATE TONIGHT!!



yeah man. haha. huimin, grace, naina, divya and i are part of the JOY TO THE WORLD club.

me- joy
naina- to
divya- the
huimin- whole
grace- world

yeap. and we were singing and singing so funnily. well, it was huimin n naina doing most of the singing i guess. and i was just being a sitter-by laughing so silly-ly and eleanor said my face turned red.

well, my face always turns red. heh heh.

OH GUESS WHAT! i finally noe that trick for 'black magic'!

yeah man. jy they all dont wanna tell me for so long. until today. my dear wan-tan valerie told me the 'secret' to it!! but everyone will still find out in the endd.

weixin was yeah man.
neelima was yeah man.
grace was yeah man.
eleanor was yeah man.
valerie was yeah man.
darfarni was yeah man.

all of u were yeah man.

hahas. okay operation cleanup was a total funny thing.

cos mr yap had to settle some stuffs n we ended up having only 15min to do oc.

yeah man. haha. n i had to sweep the floor but the prob was that there was NO DUSTPAN N BROOmM!

yesyes n i had to go down n walk arnd to find it. but still dont have.

so we ended up fooling arnd in class. piggybacks. catching. running. throwing towels. hugging. yeah. hugging man . so muchmuch of hugging. yep.

n taking photos during recess. i was usually enthu. the funny one was with naina n jasmine low. phew i didnt stand nxt to her man. it would be like... WHOOSH!!

haha. sinyi tried to piggyback me n she said i was duno wad until dont wanna open my legs. like WHEEEE! so scary. anyways sinyi also got no strength okay. but i wont deny that i'm super fat.

jasmine low carried me like 3 times. n i was like ON TOP OF THE WORLD...

yeah man. so high. i wish i was taller. yep. had medical checkup for obs ytd.

JOCINA SO NAUGHTY ARH.

and somemore grace, divya n i were like counting for her. like 2 rounds on ground floor den one round on second floor den she ran round ground floor like thrice den i told grace that she was running extra round n grace screamed to jocina so jocina stopped den she dash man. silly girl. count also duno hurhh.

yes. and the doctor wrote under allergies: unknown cause. den the admission into hospital: admitted due to unknown cause. haha. so silly.

my height is terrible. my weight is terrible. it's super fat.

F.A.T.

149cm n 43.7kg. gosh that's like OVERWEIGHT. yep well, not actually but i'm gonna be OVERWEIGHT. yeah man. that's 'great'.

oh gosh gosh gosh. i'm so terribly confused now. temptation is realle drawing me closer every second of my life. i know what's gonna happen. i'm not supposed to be doing this. i'm deciding. still thinking. something's drawing me back. two reasons. my parents n the other reason which has been troubling me for soso long. yupp. it's not rite. i'm supposed to be studying n working hard. not wasting my life on these kind of things. but some other feeling tells me that this may help me to let go. but it's the wrong method of drawing away all those memories. yesyes. i may be able to help in studies or smth. but i have a 80% guarantee that _________ is not true. i may make a wrong choice but after all. it's hard to get away that love. thot abt it. it's not worth it. why give up ur whole future for just a slight temptation like this. i will NOT be succumbed to words.

my bro's friends r home at they're making such a din. haha.

i never knew boys could laugh louder than girls.

gosh. okay. today was an okay day.

well, got my results. yeps. and i got some band four.

just hope i can get into a phy chem class. mr yap was being silly today. he said that whoever took physics den nxt yr most probably can get him den we'll be closer or smth??

haha. he said he was please with our results. so no bad mood. that's great.

yesyes.

went to geylang east to do cip again. neelima was being such a stupid cow n she kept hitting me.

so mean.

yaay, tmr i'm going to do cip again n this time, grace's gonna come. yippe!!! the 3 siblings. (:

i went to school unprepared den they said that nballers n bballers cant play n we somemore sent in all our bballers n jocina. cos rachel is referee so she cant play but she told me she actually wanted to play.

yes. so we had to change our players for capt ball. and only janice fan and weixin could stay. we won 2/9 like 5-4,3-2 i think. lost 2/7 by some 11-nil. so sad. it was such a big gap yep. i only played for the first 2/9 game n the 2/7 game. yep.

alrite. the recycling talk was so borring. cordelia n the others ended up doing black magic. hahh.

den some funny workshop abt school values in class n i was mouthing to sofia abt our tps school pledge n it was so funny. and she was counting den mr yap spotted her and was like:"sofia's got lots of school values to share with us n see, she's even counting w her fingers." hahahaaa. then that was so funny.

streaming talk. i think i'm either gonna choose maybe;
1st choice: phy chem elechist pure geog.
2nd choice: phy chem eleclit pure geog.
3rd choice: bio chem eleclit/elechist puregeog.

yepps. dont intend to take econs. eleanor n the rest of the lipsticks r gonna take econs too. as for grace, it seems that she doesnt wanna take triple science. not very sure abt that.

haha. now for the funniest part. the bus ride back home. went home on 31 with eleanor, divya, cheryl, jocina and sofia. the six of us and we sat 3-3 at the back facing each other. yuup.
den divya got down. den sleepyhead came up on the bus. at first i didnt realise it until eleanor said:" issen that ____". den i looked n i didnt expect him to be THAT tall. like woWWW. yep. and eleanor started telling them abt that AP thing. hahaa. den cheryl was making a joke out of it. gosh. yes. den sofia had to go down one stop earlier n we were like laughing at her cos she looked so embarrassed. yes. n i went down w cheryl n saw weixin coming down the steps. yepp.

end of story. (:

It's Jocina's birthday tmr! is it?!

haha. Went out to parkway today. for some shopping. yep.

Saw so many people i knew.

first, the sec3 seniors at bedok interchange. i was like so shocked.

den i met rachel at isetan!!! she was with her mummy.

and i think i saw joyce. well i think only... haha.

den at isetan met alexa too. she was with her mum too. ha. n she told me she was going to have facial and whether her hair looked layered or nott. lol. so funny.

couldnt find a nice pair of slippers fr charles n keith. so wasted. i went to eat scoopz the strawberry and choc mint chip icecream!! my two favourite ice cream flavours!! yummies.

went to tm later. n went to look see look see. ate long john's again. i ate that like yesterday. (:

oh yes. sleepyhead's gonna sing! haha. during that open house. lol. my bro doesnt wanna go. but my mum wants to. so funny. but i wont go. it would just be so awkward. yesyes...

saw janine today at isetan. ha. she was talking abt her baby sis, janelle. lol.

cant wait for that concert days. so funn. n the pool party.

church tomorrow! must rmb to take attendance... carol, i need the attendance thingy. heh

it's the checking for lit today n i got like 58.3%.

that's a so miserable mark. but at least geog was quite okay. i think we got the highest for geog in drama. that funny cotton grass thing was so memorable. how kukoo did divya n i look. hee.

the secones didnt come for assembly today which is so weird. ha. pt today. 5 rounds. grace was being funny, she kept hitting me while i was running.

i didnt bring my cca records form. i was so scared cos i thot tmr was saturday? so i cun hand in the form budden i realised tmr is friday. i think i got my dates wrong. oh it's lit ENRICH tmr!!! i'm so excited. loose canon is so nice. hee.

okay we finished the lit checking at 9am. had half hr left so i went to play w sinyi n cheryl n rachel n lynette n clara. disturb sinyi again. did the incy wincy thing. ha. valerie was very nice to massage my arm den later she ask cheryl to massage. we were comparing hand sizes again. okay i admit my hand is very very small. sinyi's hand was the size of my face?? either her hand is huge or my face small.

we went to see the others play badminton during recess. i seriously cant play badminton. grace was good. they said wei xin was good too.

my bro is teasing my mum again. say my mum danced? haha. he just noes how to imitate people. my bro is such a meanie mo.

we are gonna have a LIPSTICK family tshirt!!!! yaay! we're gonna design it. yipee....

we took a taxi after school to geylang east. ate macs. divya didnt eat. grace was so funny. she said neelima had a boyfriend den neelima was like:"which one?" so lame. it was like she was saying which boyfriend grace was referring to. like got 10 lidat. neelima was licking her icecream like so funny-ly. it was so DISGUSTING.

we slacked so much during that 3h cip. grace purposely sent neelima up alone to push the trolleys down. we cheated so much. esp the shelf-reading one. grace n i like dumped the other books all on the trolley n the whole floor was filled w books. we ate sweets in the toilet n i stole neelima's tag n hid it.

neelima was being so silly. she took this book n started reading it aloud w grace. like one page she read. another grace read. got some qu yuan chinese name den she read it so lame-ly. grace read in a indian slang?? gosh. then later neelima wanted to sing the christmas carols w lyrics fr this reference book.

took a bus home w gracie. played her phone's billards w her. she won 5-3. n somemore took my chocolates. i bought MORE poifull! hope it wont melt. financial dunno what tmr. maths againnnnn.... yipee we're going to do cip more often now. wanna get my 100h. so unfair okae. sherman that sleepyhead got 90hrs already. that's so unfair. where got so fast one.

probably we'll go to geylang east nxt week again. it's gonna be so funn if divya n i can go w grace n neelima. yeeeeeaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy!!!! (x

AAAAAAHHH!

I forgot to buy that meiji tube chocolates again!!!!!! okay i think tmr i go buy in the morning.

heh.

booo..... so saddeddedd.

joanna, must rmbr to buy okay. don't forget.

Happy Birthday Jeanne and Bronson!

haha. Jeanne came to school in a princess jasmine indian clothes. so cute!

and everyone was like asking my mum:" hey ur girl why wear this today?"

and everyone just loves her cos she's so cute.

heh. helped office today. had to draw this african tribe thingy. i drew like 52 n i was so sick of doing it. i can draw it now free hand w/o using that template. it's sososo stuck in my mind already.

nigel was super cute today! he praised my mum. my mum was drawing the clock face n he suddenly said:" Excellent! Mrs Cho your drawing is very alive!".

such a smart boy. my mum will miss his praises. everyone was so shocked he could speak that way.

carment tham was super excited during jeanne's birthday party n i had jus finished helping office n jus going into the classroom. den carment quickly screamed n was so excited n she pulled me to sit beside her. n she was like:" take ur water bottle! take ur water bottle! come come sit!!" n she was like shouting so loudly. haahaa. so i had to join them being kids n had to wad take my bottle n sit on those small small chairs in the blue group next to carment n jeanne.

it was so funny. n carment dropped her cake once n i had to clear it up for her. den later this other boy dropped his cake too n he looked like he was going to cry... so poor thing. den my mum was like:" dont worry, it's only your cake dat has dropped". den surprisingly he was changed his expression n ROARED at me. den he hehe. and laughed??? oh god. they're really weird... ha. one moment they pretend to look at u so innocently den later dey roar at u??

helped w the backdrop of the stage. the hall was so cold. hee. saw caleb when i went down n he was like:" hey you!" den he laughed and waved to me. funny... stayed until 6 plus n i was alrdy so cold at that time. it was freezing and raining... boo.

oh i got this pink lightstick n pink balloon dog from jeanne. haahas. she's super rich. she gave everyone precious moment stuffs.

cold cold cold cold....

we had sososo many free periods today. from 7.40am all the way to 12nn.

didnt eat recess... but ate my meiji tube chocolate. got abt 1/4 left.

chinese movie was super borrinnng.

ha.

siggh i jus needed 0.9 marks more to get A2 for english.

so wasted one.

home ec-77. i think it's rank 4 or something.

played murderer n all that funny games during the free periods.

janice fan was super funny.

divya larhs. so saddedded.

she was not free today. she cheated me!!!

we were supposed to go for cip! no fair!! so we didnt go in the end.

went to eat wanton mee w jocina n cheryl. naughty cheryl, she scolded me there.

just bcos i stole her drink. squashed her straw n ate so slowwllly....

hee

*shrugs*

It's raining!

haha it just reminds me of jasmine's blog. haha.

rain down! all the world we're singing... rain down!!!

yepp. cell in the morning n i bought that meiji tube chocolate...

it was yummy.

carol was not feeling well today and yanda didnt come...

attendance was 16. n i actually forgot to count. sigh sigh... luckily rachel helped me count.

otherwise i wuld hav dieded. heh. we were sharing umbrella. how nice of isabella n mee. (:

macs lunch n i asked isabella help me buy.

i'm such a lazy cow. i want to be served, ALWAYS.

(x

my bro wasted time today. we went to tampines n he went to see the soccer shoes... n he was his usual self asking me if the maroon one or blue one was nicer. i said the maroon but he said the blue one. heex. but i dont care cos i'm not e one buying. n he was telling me which kind of spikes were better. adidas or nike better. like i wanna noe...

ha. 1309 words n the mean girls vcd. :))

Game Of Love

Tell me
Just what you want me to be
One kiss and boom you’re the only one to me
So please tell me
Why don’t you come around no more?
Cause right now I’m
Cryin' outside the door of your candy store

It just takes a little bit of this, a little bit of that
It started with a kiss, now we're up to bat
A little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain
I’m telling you my babe it’s all in the game of love…

… is, whatever you make it to be
Sunshine, set on this cold, lonely sea
So please baby
Try and use me for what I’m good for
It ain’t sayin'
Goodbye It’s knockin’ down the door of your candy store

Just takes a little bit of this, a little bit of that
Started with a kiss, now we're up to bat
A little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain
I’m telling you my babe it’s all in the game of love
It’s all in this game of love

You roll me, control me, console me
Please hold me
You guide me, divide me into what

So please tell me
Why don’t you come around no more?
Cause right now I’m
Dying outside the door of your lovin' store

Just takes a little bit of this, a little bit of that
Started with a kiss, now we're up to bat
A little bit of laughs, a little bit of pain
I’m telling you my babe it’s all in the game of love
It’s all in this game of love, it’s all in the game of love
Game of love

Roll me, control me,
Please hold me

(Make me feel good yeah)

(A little bit of laughs, a little bit of pains)

Now here am I on my own, on my own

(A little bit of this, a little bit of that)

haha. it's funny like a bunny.

okay, i realle hope divya reminds grace n neelima abt doing cip on monday.

sheesh. it was my idea since i wanted to complete 100hrs of cip n now i've got 9+43=52.

calculations r right rite? ha.

so left abt 48hrs more.

minus complusory hrs every yr... 48-12=36hrs.

minus e library cip n maybe one or two more flag days n this yr's concert n pool party.

shd be able to complete. haa.

yepps. my bro was in a tired mood today? yesh...

he always looks like he's got white spots or smth under light. but actually he doesnt.

anyways he was pestering my dad to buy soccer boots for him.

oh gosh. i jus wanna SMACK him. spend so much money.

one yr can buy 4/5 sports shoes. always complaining abt his feet growing big n all that.

n now he wants to get soccer shoes when he doesnt even play soccer as a cca. n he's like gonna get spikes n all that. cos he will most probably continue track in sec sch. oh my mum's considering catholic high if he cant get into VS. gosh. VS. i'm jus gonna die.

he's seriously getting more materialistic den me. sigh sigh. i must have been a bad sister. but phew ppl think he's older den me. cos he's taller. heh.

at least i'm not like him. spending his money any oh how... n he loves adidas n always drags me to that shop to see the new model blah blah... telling me why it's good n what shoes is better. and he always asks for my opinion on the design like i noe how to choose soccer shoes liddat. haa.

just went to view a flat in the afternn. my aunt wants to buy a flat in point block. that 417 blk. the vip block. haa. that's great so maybe if dey buy it den i can visit jie jie everyday n maybe if i need help in hist or chem nxt yr i can jus go over n ask. heh.

sheesh. my mum insists on sending me to phy tuition at caraven cos my cousin say that place is very good. i hate going to those kind of group tuition. home tuition is much better. cant stand it... urghs.

hope my hmt improves so i can continue taking home tuition.

hmm.

2 missed calls.

who called.

that's the bad thing of having NO caller ID.

sigh sigh.

oh sleepyhead is so disappointed and now it's so saddening.

it's affecting me cos now nobody will argue with me.

boo.

oh YES!

jie jie got 10 for prelims and minus the cca n hmt points, she can get 6!

so she can finally go to VJ and she really hopes she can stay there.

i'm sososososososo happy for herr! (x

hee.

ROOFTOPS

I WAS LOST
I WAS AFRAID UNTIL YOU FOUND ME
AND YOU TOOK ME BY THE HAND
I WAS BOUND
I WAS IN CHAINS
UNTIL YOU CAME AND SET ME FREE TO DANCE AGAIN

NOW I'M SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS

YOU ARE GOOD I KNOW
I WILL SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS
YOU ARE GOOD I KNOW
THAT YOUR LOVE WILL GO FOREVER
YOU ARE GOOD

I WAS BLIND BUT NOW I SEE
FROM THE ROOFTOPS I WILL SING
I WAS BOUND BUT NOW I'M FREE

haha. okay i'm really mad to think of my mum's collegue's daughter.
she's really urggh. i duno how to explain it.
her mum's really sad enough that her husband when to look for another woman.
n now her mum wants to leave singapore and start life anew somewhere else.
but the thing is that now, her daughter, who's the same age as me REFUSES to move to Australia.
just because of her boyfriend??!
like that's jus quite mean alrite.
her mum's already been like so sad and now she's sick.
she isnt taking her health quite well either.
n her daughter doesnt even think abt her mum.
now her mum realle needs her daughter to understand her n her daughter insists on staying just because of her boyfriend.

oh gosh.
i wonder what's she's even thinking.
and yesterday my mum was like nagging on boyfriends n everything.
so kukoo.
saying that it wont last.
n i had to convince her like:" i realle dont have. i'm very good one."
den could see she really believed me.
like boy i'm glad i'm not lying this time.
clear conscience. (x

my bro's gone to school today. and i'm at home all alone w my daddy.
yesterday my mum n aunt was discussing if my bro couldnt get into VS, through results or appealing. den maybe can consider sending him to catholic high cos my aunt says cat high's standard is improving. n maybe can tompang also. my uncle can send my aunt to ri den bro to cat high. both also near bishan there so maybe cann. hah. anyway  they can do to let my bro improve in track.

omegosh. it's so funny.
my bro just called me a GAY caused i screamed when his mini soccer ball hit my leg.
that's so mean.
and who in the right mind plays soccer in the house when we're living in a HDB block. where everything's so cramped up.
heh.
anyway, he shd say sorry and not call me a gay.
and i'm so not one.
didnt bother arguing w him.
i dont exactly speak gay language and no, he's not a gay.

okae.
i went to my mum's school today to help out and it was sosososososo funn!
the 4 years old children were really cute. some were jus 3, cos their birthdays haven passed.

in the morning there was this guy called ryan. we were having this dry run for the concert.
yupp. so i sat beside him n he was like taking out his bottle strap n i had 2 put it back for him.

den the next moment, he took it out again. n i was like:"ryan, dont keep taking it out."
i even thot it came out accidentally or he didnt noe how 2 put back but NOOOO.
i was like SO wrong. cos he could actually take it out n put it back by himself.

he was jus trying to be playful. heh
but i didnt mind.
n omygosh.
my mum went somewhere else n the next moment i saw fiora n some other girls sitting in front starting to take out their bottle strap too. n i was thinking. no way!
it's like a trend n i had to stop them from tugging n forcing n pulling out their bottle straps cos they were trying to do wad ryan did.

gosh. they learn really fast. n i had to tell dem:" dont force it out. otherwise ur bottle will spoil. dont pull it out okay?"
so silly.
n i saw so many guys n girls SHOWING their LOVE today.
so funny la.
i saw kevin hugging vanessa.
n my mum was like:" kevin dont go around hugging ur friends please."
n afternoon session also got some girl hug the boy.
haa.

for the afternn session got this cutecute girl called jeanne li.
i think she's the next mixed erika peck-abery chan.
mixture of erika n abery.
yes. she was like reaching her hand under my sleeve den i was like errr.
nxt moment she tickle abit den hehe at me??
haha. she did that twice yesterday okae...
not under. it's like tickle on the arm where u have jabs there.
yeah den today while my mum was marking she came to me n rolled her finger arnd my back??

den at the concert hall waiting room, she used her both hands to hit my stomach n back.
den she smile at me. okay she's really pretty. her cheeks r like so applish.
yeah. den later i asked her not to sit on the chair.
n she hehe at me again n like whacked my butt??!
gosh. she's really funny. den she hehe at me again.
hah.

i joined mrs quek for the 3rd session for awhile den when i was leaving there was this naughty fat fat boy called caleb who ran to me n hugged me only that he hugged my butt. which was so surprising cos before that he was asking me if i was a teacher or something. n he boasted that he was 4 n he asked how old i was. n i said 14.
when he heard he was so surprised that he was like:"OOHH!" den he pretended to faint like he didnt imagine i wuld be that OLD?
so cheeky.

haa. okay jeanne is really pretty. ha. her mum's thai or something.

snails r really cute.

tuesday.
it is finally the LASTEST day of the exams and the hmt paper was so tirring.
it made me so tired i even had this headache during the last 15min of the paper.
cos i had to write so much n we had to read a total of SIX WHOLE passages.
which is so so nonsense.
but at least i completed the paper.
which is good.
heh.

went home after the paper to get changed n my daddy jus refused to lemme use the comp.
sigh sigh.
yes. and obviously i changed and met divya and grace at the mrt.
cut the long story short.
we went to somerset mrt n we thot we wuld be late n get a scolding fr eleanor.
but in fact, we were the earliest.

heh heh. and grace and divya kept ATTACKING my poifull gummies.
jus because it's nice doesnt mean u can steal it.
we went to mount zion to spend/waste time while waiting.
grace was approached by this saleswoman.
she was soso funny.
she wanted to sell this perfume and she was like:" actual price is 89.90, now we're only selling it for 39.90."
which is like so NONSENSE?
as if we got the money liddat.
n grace stood there refusing jus to follow divya n me, n ignore her.
so we had to go back n waited while the saleswoman blabbered her stuff.

guess what!
we were all wearing black xcept naina and grace.
but grace was wearing the same colour skirt as me.
heh.
n i bet naina was wearing orange, cos she always wears bright colours.
grace guessed bright colours and divya guessed yellow.
so in the end she wore yellow.
yes. so grace insisted that she was 'righter' den divya?

we went to watch dark waters at cine.
so funny n we were so embarrassed cos we like went upstairs instead of downstairs.
eleanor was right.
it was like so scary and eleanor kept screaming which made me EVEN MORE scared.
i closed my eyes like half of the time.
n grace was like saying so much stuff.
naina, was expressionless.
cordelia and grace sommore go put there feet on the seats in front. cos there was like no one in front of us thou we were sitting at row F.

i dont like it when everytime i open my eyes den there's always this seriously scary part.
aaahhh. especially that dead girl in the tank. and eleanor even screamed when there was the black water. so it made me even more scared i dare not open my eyes.
naina n grace thot it was blood.
blood is black? no.
eleanor was pretty sad that she kept saying she's no one to hug.
okay i shall not talk abt it anymores.

we also went to pacific plaza and at roxy, i had share a seat with cordelia while the rest were looking at the stuffs. my butt almost broke into two.
cordelia was being super mad.
she was like:" let's take a picture." and she used her wallet to act as a cam.
haha. jus because naina married me and grace?
so at long john silvers she was so quiet n so naina had to pacify her.
okay.
naina said this breakup line:" joanna i'm sorry. we cannot continue." to me and grace and we were like laughing our heads of.
oh we saw this supposedly gays while queueing.
cordelia said so.
heh. and we all ate the chicken combo cos it was the cheapest.
eleanor didnt eat.

we went seeing arnd far east n eleanor bought a NEW skirt.
n i saw this skirt which was so nice n cordelia wanted it too.
but we didn't buy it.
i had to go home den, and everyone went home too...
boo.


it's just so weird. i didn't actually think that someone would just be like me. having the same problems. stuck in the same situation as me. it happened like sososo loong ago and i just can't forget. like wad she said. it's not that easy to forget. she said it would haunt her her whole life. but at this point of time, it's not haunting me or anything like that. i mean it's already been over. not just like recently and everyone thinks that i've _________ ___. but it's so untrue and nobody noes what i'm really thinking. i'm not in a position to give any advice actually. i dun want her to end up like me. but i guess the best is to totally erase those thots and start anew. u will regret everything if u dont entirely forget abt it. it's so hard to forget. all i can do is to ask god to help me make my life somewhat new. some life that those memories wont make me sad. some life that i can be really happy that if each finds each own's happiness. not just remembering what really happened. sometimes i wish i could go for this memory erase thing. that i wont rmbr anything. but things just make me cant forget. just like wad she said. she just cant stop thinking of the events too. something always reminds her of ___. it's just the same way as me. everything i see always seems to be reminding me of the things i wanna forget. people think i've forgotten. but it's not the way as it seems to be. i'm just waiting for a day that those happenings dont tie me back. i have that two things on my bed. it seems that half of myself wants to forget. but the inner self doesnt. the natural things i do dont. but i will force myself. if that's the way is it. den it's really no point to rmbr all these unhappy stuff. it was my first sincere try. but i guess it will also be the last ever sincere try i'll attempt during my secondary school life. i can't bring myself to forget even during all many happenings after that very day. i've been cheating everyone. lying to myself. i realise it now that's it's already too late to regret. circumstances dont give me a change to regret and get back the things that i've lost. even after one or two weeks after that very day. maybe it was not meant to be. i would have not been like that if i didn't take that one step. temptations n indecisiveness really can destroy one's life. something's gonna tempt me again but i will have to set my mind on something. something that i wun regret so much. no one is able to listen to how i feel. not even anyone of my friends. it's not i dont trust them. but mostly that jesus is the only one who can really help me get those feelings off me at this time. i realise im not the only one having all these problems but it's impact on me is really great and crying doesnt seem to help, at all. those two things remind me. that present. the first ever sincere present from someone different from me. was it jus my imagination or did __ really let me down. i dont noe and i dun ever think __'ll ever noe wad i'm thinking. it's already been forgetten by ___. it's invisble in ___ life. but it's not in mine. that book will always remind me. i rmbr was divya said, erase the past. i'm not gonna do it myself. cos someone's gotta help me do that. erasing everything needs someone to help me. it was my most sincere 1985 sentences. if ever i would be able to give ___ that book, it may have changed my life. writing that sentence 1985 times really told me that i cant lose something ever so precious to me again. that book is filled with all my effort. but it was not handed to ___. it's not a waste. but at least i can rmbr that nice and sweet memory that ever happened. it gave me the experience to live for what i really want. i told eleanor to keep her objects in a box or something. cos losing that memory can really make u regret. i willl give my best to erase that sad memories. but keep those happy memories. things that can make me glad that i've already did my best in making the best that i could of that relationship. i tried.

but he didnt.